Narrated by Shelley Atkinson
BelEdit Book Reviews
GENERAL IMPRESSIONS
Assembling Ailish has been described as a ‘stunning debut’ and I concur. It is beautifully written, deeply moving, and with characters so vividly drawn that you feel you know them. The narration of the audiobook by Shelley Atkinson is excellent; you feel like you are listening in to Ailish’s thoughts.
The story is set in Ireland, from the early 1970s to the present day, following Ailish from early childhood through her teenage years, later education and career, marriage and family life, up to early middle age. It reflects the changing society in Ireland through the period. Sharon Guard captures the inner life of a woman who has had traumatic experiences when young, not just in the moment but for many years afterwards. We see how Ailish’s sense of self is shaped by it, how it shadows not just every major life choice but her inner self.
She also captures the inherent loneliness that results from carrying the secret of traumatic experiences for a long time, making Ailish feel set apart from ‘normal’ people.
WARNING: THE REST OF THIS REVIEW CONTAINS SPOILERS
Reading the book blurb, it seemed obvious to me that one of the main themes was a particular trauma experienced by Ailish as a teenager. Please read no further if you don’t want to know yet what that trauma was!
Assembling Ailish will hit hard for women with similar experiences to Ailish. And yes, that’s a lot of women.* The novel is framed as a series of conversations between Ailish and her unnamed therapist in the present, interspersed with narratives that recount eras and scenes throughout her life since childhood. Her early years are marked by her family life: Ailish is the only child of a mother with mental health problems and a father who struggles to cope with his wife and daughter. The family makes frequent visits to her mother’s relatives, where Ailish experiences different family dynamics among her aunts, uncles and cousins.
When she is 16 [spoiler alert!], an evening out with her cousins and friends ends with Ailish having sex with one of the boys, a few years older than her. Within a couple of months, she realises she is pregnant, ending up on a plane to England. The trepidation and gradual understanding of her plight, in a young girl who is little more than a child herself, is heartbreaking. (*Some 50,000 women are recorded as having made this trip from 1975–1990. This is based on the official estimates, not counting women who did not report where they came from.) This is a turning point that will shape the rest of her life.
What moved me in particular is how Ailish harbours feelings for the boy for many years, imagining alternative narratives for her own life. She creates numerous romantic fantasies stemming from that one event. It’s a wonderfully insightful portrayal of how people can often frame traumas in order to make them palatable to themselves and to maintain a sense of personal control. Guard also perfectly captures how recovery from trauma is an ongoing process throughout one’s life, characterised not by major insights but by a gradual shifting of perspectives. Indeed, it shows how the narrative of traumatic events changes over time, not because people’s memories change, but because the mind only reveals the past gradually, by ‘allowing’ conscious interpretations bit by bit according to the individual’s readiness. Minds are clever things!
As such, this is a very special book. I am sure people who do not particularly identify with Ailish will find much to enjoy and empathise with here, and may appreciate the story itself and the descriptions of changing attitudes and mores in Irish society over the decades covered. But for readers who identify more directly with the topics and themes, be warned: this may be very triggering and upsetting in parts. But it will also lead to some, perhaps helpful, reflection.
I for one appreciated reading a book that makes me feel ‘seen’.
My thanks to @BolindaAudio, the author and Netgalley for giving me a free copy of this audiobook. All my reviews are 100% honest and unbiased, regardless of how I acquire the book.
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